I needed help moving my old couch down three flights of stairs yesterday, so I bribed a friend with a homemade lasagne. This resulted in a hectic trip to the grocery store to purchase the items needed for a homemade lasagne. This is a 24 hour store, so I usually manage to avoid the busy hours and go around midnight. However, last minute need for lasagne items meant pre-evening trip to the grocery store.
So, I'm walking my fat ass around the grocery store, gathering the necessities for lasagne. In the pasta aisle, a woman approaches me and asks "Can I interest in a coupon for a free weight-loss smoothie?"
Now, I'm not as off-the-wall, screamy and aggressive as this blog may make me seem. So all I said was, "No, thanks, I'm good." But I was so mad about it, I honestly was hoping she would ask me again so I could feel justified in screaming at her. Some of the thoughts that went through my head are as follows:
Yeah, bitch, that's why I'm purchasing carbs and milk fat. Cause I want to lose weight. Clearly my concern with my weight is showing and I am obviously your key demographic.
Oh, I see you have A cup breasts. Can I interest you in a coupon for a push-up bra? You know, your ears stick out quite a bit. One of my co-workers is married to a plastic surgeon. Would you like his card? No? What? Is this rude? Is it rude of me to tell a stranger "There are things about your body that I personally find less than desirable; you should go change them"?
Or maybe just a solid "Wow, it's really rude for you to approach me with your stupid shit while I'm shopping. If I was interested in your bullshit rip-off products, I would do a Google search and find your company on my own. But thank you for judging me. You're sure to not alienate people by deliberately offending them. Piss off."
Or possibly just a silent face slap.
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