While there are countless examples and stories to tell with those examples, tonight's bitching is inspired by a comment from a Facebook group I belong to. If you have a complaint about a policy, about management, about corporate TELL CORPORATE! Don't scream at a cashier or a floor associate because you don't like a store policy. What the fuck do you expect that under-appreciated, under-paid person trapped behind a cash register who you are berating to do? "That company policy is stupid! It's fucking ridiculous that your register physically locks up if you try to do what I'm telling you to do! Fix it!" "Oh, okay! I forgot that I'm magic! Thanks for reminding me with your kind words!"
You have a problem with a policy? Send a constructive e-mail to customer service. Don't scream at a cashier. That wastes her time, your time, the time of everybody in line behind you, makes you look like an asshole, and honestly makes it less likely for you to get what you want. If you're polite to the store staff, they may be able to do something for you. They probably can't change the policy that's making you unhappy, but they might be able to give you a discount for your inconvenience. Maybe. Don't get pissed off if they can't. Customer service usually can send you a gift card. If they don't, guess whose fucking fault it's not?
There's another thing that completely baffles me about the way people make complaints. I've been working in retail for 13 years and have only had two complaints ever made about me to a higher up. Both were pretty stupid. One complained to my store manager because I was helping another customer instead of her. Well, suck it, you arrogant bitch, I got promoted anyway. The other complaint given about me was just overwhelmingly stupid. No lies, I cried about it. I had quit smoking a year prior and when I got home, I bummed a cigarette from a neighbor and cried (it was also the first customer complaint I had ever received about myself). A customer called the store wanting to make a return. Over the phone. Wanted an immediate refund for merchandise that was in her home. Um, no. Even if I *could* issue a refund for merchandise that you're not actually returning to me, I don't have that type of access to your credit card. And why the fuck would you trust a company that would just up and change the amount they had charged you? If they can lower the amount they're charging you, they can sure as Hell raise the amount they're charging you. "I drove 20 minutes to get your store; I don't want to turn around and drive back." Oh, no! You drove 20 minutes? I drive 45 minutes one way to get to work. Also, you dumb bitch, I've told you five times I can extend the time frame of your return beyond our usual 30 days so you don't have to make a special trip. So, bitch gets super verbally abusive and begins threatening me over the phone. I invite her to contact our customer service department, because clearly I can't make her happy and, here's the important part, I know customer service's policy is to send gift cards to unhappy customers, and that would provide some compensation for the difficulty of having to drive 20 minutes. Nope. She doesn't want to talk to customer service, she wants me to hack into her bank account, apparently. After I tell her "no" several more times, she says fine, she'll contact customer service, and she wants my last name. Really? You've spent the last thirty-five minutes threatening me and you expect me to give you more information so that you can find me? Not a chance. (For my readers who don't personally know me, I once had a customer seriously threaten to kill me. Flat out said he was going to be waiting for me in the parking lot when the bank closed. My branch manager was standing five feet away from me and wouldn't help me, even though she was known for throwing people out of the bank over virtually anything. Since that, I don't fuck around when I feel threatened by customers, which thankfully isn't often.) I told the customer "My name is Rosalind. My employee number 5555555. You can find that on the top of your receipt, left hand corner. My store number is 1234, that is the number next to my employee number." "Not good enough! Give me your last name." "Absolutely not. I assure you, customer service will know who I am based on the information on your receipt. That's why it's on your receipt." Why? Why would anybody think they can threaten a person and then ask for further personal information about them?
I think that one kinda got away from me there.
Things to take away from this: Lodge your complaints to appropriate people; be respectful when complaining; and don't ask for further identifying information from a person you've been threatening.
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