12:00 AM - Whoo-hoo! Only half an hour left until I can leave my "day" job. Wonder if it's still called a "Day Job" if you work overnights?...
12:30 AM - Whooooo! Up yours, work!
1:00 AM - Why is this drive so long?!
1:15 AM - Yay, home! I'm going to make dinner, then I'm going to get to writing!
2:00 AM - Just one more rerun of 30 Rock that I've seen several times, then I'm going to write
3:00 AM - ....Damn. Oooh, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia! I'll half-assedly do research during commercials.
3:30 AM - Ring! Ooh, boyfriend's on the phone. I'll just talk to him until he gets home, then work!
5:00 AM - Shit. We've been on the phone for an hour and a half. Eh, I have tomorrow off. I'll just write a lot when I get up. Time to knit while watching Doctor Who!
6:00 AM - Fall asleep on the couch.
2:00 PM - Hmmm....I should get up. Well, I don't get a lot of sleep on days I do work. Maybe I'll sleep for a little while longer....
3:00 PM - Discuss financial difficulties with boyfriend. Decide financial difficulties would be less difficult if I would just buckle the fuck down and write more. And if we got less carry out. Oooh, carry out...
4:00 PM - Write for about twenty minutes.
4:20 PM - Distracted by cat. Play with cat.
5:00 PM - Talk to Mom on the phone.
6:00 PM - Talk to boyfriend on phone while he drives to work
7:00 PM - Well, really, Chinese take-out makes more fiscal sense than cooking for one. By the time I buy chicken and rice and veggies, it costs more to make the one meal than the $10 take-out that I can get three meals out of...
8:00 PM - Yay, eating Chinese food!
8:30 PM - Fucking seriously, go write.
8:35 PM - I'll just look at the new health insurance information from work.
9:00 PM - Have a total fucking meltdown over how frustrating and confusing the new health plan is. Bitch at internet group.
10:00 PM - Yoga
10:45 PM - Damn, I miss having a gym membership.... No, you're not going for a walk right now. WRITE SOMETHING!
10:55 PM - Blogging? Really, dumbass?! You're fucking blogging?! YOU DON'T GET PAID FOR THIS SHIT!
11:15 PM - Good job! You've wasted most of an entire day!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Dear Peach...
Dear Peach,
My human came home tonight and lamented that she forgot to purchase paper towels but she could probably do without any until tomorrow. I promptly vomited all over the floor. Hahahahahahaha.
Banana
My human came home tonight and lamented that she forgot to purchase paper towels but she could probably do without any until tomorrow. I promptly vomited all over the floor. Hahahahahahaha.
Banana
Saturday, October 19, 2013
JERK TIPS FOR CATS!!
Day One
I don't know your name, but I liked your message. I think it is very funny the way you run out of your person's home and make her chase you down the stairs. I think you and I have a lot to learn from each other. I like to poop on the floor when I don't get the attention I deserve. That makes my person really mad. It makes me laugh. I mean, as much as I can. I don't think the people recognize it as a laugh. That makes it even more fun for me, because those idiots have no idea what's going on. Hahahahahaha.
Love, Peach the Cat
Day Two
Peach,
You can call me Banana. Your idea of pooping on the floor is quite funny. I'll have to try that some time. It was quite clever of you to jump in my person's laptop bag and leave me that message via pheromones. I didn't know that we could communicate such complex, intangible ideas in such a way! One of the things I like to do is scream. I just follow my person around her apartment, screaming. She thinks I'm trying to communicate that I want food, which I do. Food is good. But really, I just like to scream because it's fun. That might be another way we can communicate. When my person calls your person and they do that annoying thing where they both make their talking devices loud and talk at it without picking it up (I think I've heard your person ask if mine is using a "Speaker phone" or something like that), we can talk that way too. Even if we don't communicate that way, I highly recommend screaming at your person. All the time.
AUGH!
Banana Cat
Day Three
Ring
Man: Hello, sweetie!
Woman: Hi, honey.
Peach: MEOW!
Banana: MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
Peach: MEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Banana: MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! MEOW!
Woman: I swear they're talking to each other....
I don't know your name, but I liked your message. I think it is very funny the way you run out of your person's home and make her chase you down the stairs. I think you and I have a lot to learn from each other. I like to poop on the floor when I don't get the attention I deserve. That makes my person really mad. It makes me laugh. I mean, as much as I can. I don't think the people recognize it as a laugh. That makes it even more fun for me, because those idiots have no idea what's going on. Hahahahahaha.
Love, Peach the Cat
Day Two
Peach,
You can call me Banana. Your idea of pooping on the floor is quite funny. I'll have to try that some time. It was quite clever of you to jump in my person's laptop bag and leave me that message via pheromones. I didn't know that we could communicate such complex, intangible ideas in such a way! One of the things I like to do is scream. I just follow my person around her apartment, screaming. She thinks I'm trying to communicate that I want food, which I do. Food is good. But really, I just like to scream because it's fun. That might be another way we can communicate. When my person calls your person and they do that annoying thing where they both make their talking devices loud and talk at it without picking it up (I think I've heard your person ask if mine is using a "Speaker phone" or something like that), we can talk that way too. Even if we don't communicate that way, I highly recommend screaming at your person. All the time.
AUGH!
Banana Cat
Day Three
Ring
Man: Hello, sweetie!
Woman: Hi, honey.
Peach: MEOW!
Banana: MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
Peach: MEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Banana: MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! MEOW!
Woman: I swear they're talking to each other....
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